Read The Downside of Being Up by Alan Sitomer Online


Thirteen-year-old Bobby Connor is a normal adolescent boy--at least he hopes he is--just trying to survive middle school. But it seems he's being foiled at every turn, and even his own body is conspiring against him. And when his math teacher is seriously injured from the shock and fright of witnessing just how out of control Bobby's changing adolescent body is getting, heThirteen-year-old Bobby Connor is a normal adolescent boy--at least he hopes he is--just trying to survive middle school. But it seems he's being foiled at every turn, and even his own body is conspiring against him. And when his math teacher is seriously injured from the shock and fright of witnessing just how out of control Bobby's changing adolescent body is getting, he starts to worry he's anything but normal.Faced with expulsion from school for violating the student handbook code, Bobby opts for therapy--Correctional Erectional Therapy. It's official: Bobby Connor is not normal. But in this uproarious and heartfelt novel, he's going to do his darndest to make it seem that he is . . . or maybe just try to make it through middle school....

Title : The Downside of Being Up
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780399254987
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 224 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

The Downside of Being Up Reviews

  • Samantha
    2019-05-10 17:37

    Unless you are a middle school boy who is obsessed with your penis and its apparently uncontrollable and erratic behavior, then this is not the book for you. The Downside of Being Up (and no, unfortunately I didn't get the title, being a 40-something school librarian sans penis) is about thirteen-year-old Bobby Conner, who is in trouble because of his penis problem. Specifically, he had one of those unfortunate school day erections that he just could not cover. Instead, his whole math class was assaulted by the site of the "Crayola tent" in his pants. His teacher, who supposedly has been a middle school teacher since before dinosaurs roamed the earth, is so shocked that she falls backward and is rendered unconscious. Because of this unfortunate incident, Bobby is charged with "flaunting" his penis at school, which is reason for expulsion. To avoid expulsion, and helping his grandpa clean the lint from his belly button, Bobby agrees to "correctional erectional analysis" otherwise known as seeing the school guidance counselor. Lucky Bobby! The result is Alan Sitomer's novel. In this novel, Bobby chronicles his penile misadventures, which go hand-in-hand (no snickering) with normal middle school life. Bobby is bullied, he falls in love, he screws up everything, he gets at least 18 misguided erections a day, etc., etc. Are there any redeeming qualities? Yes, if you want to learn 120 ways (just an estimate) to refer to the penis or an erection, enjoy reading about grandpas looking at grandma boobs online, are interested in teaching a cockroach to carry a booger, or need to brush up on your bullying techniques. Otherwise, again, unless you are a middle school boy, you can skip this one. Had I only known before spending my $16.99 + 7% tax! Sigh.

  • Edward Sullivan
    2019-05-06 19:06

    Finally a novel that addresses the ages-old dilemma of every adolescent boy--the inexplicable onslaught of frequent erections at the most inappropriate times. An embarrassing but inescapable rite of puberty. If there was ever a genuine "boy book," this is it because it's a story only boys (or men who remember this perfectly awful time of life) can truly appreciate.

  • Donalyn
    2019-05-11 14:03

    Although I grew weary of the penis and fart jokes, and the grandfather's comments about masturbation made me squeamish about passing this book to any of my sixth grade students, I appreciate what Sitomer was trying to do here. The book wasn't written for me, and I imagine teenage boys will love it.

  • Krista
    2019-05-10 21:39

    Good book for the mind of an eighth grade boy...but too many references/slang names for the school bookshelf.

  • Jen Bigheart (I Read Banned Books)
    2019-05-09 20:06

    If you need a go-to reference for slang words for the male reproductive organ, just buy this book! Tired of using the terms: banana, wang, peen, donger, and wiener? Then get out your highlighter and start on page one with words like: weinerschnitzel, pole, south-of-the-border sausage, and baloney bomb. I literally laughed my tail off every five seconds over these terms - and there were literally a million of them! I am impressed with the diverse use of vocabulary, and wonder how Sitomer came up with some of these.Bobby is a typical thirteen-year-old boy going through the same hardships as any other middle schooler. His family is nuts, his sister hates him, and he has zero play with the ladies. Like, zero. To top that all off, his best friend is the dorkiest kid and the laughing stock of the school. Well, until Bobby himself takes that #1 spot when he sports wood in math class sending the teacher into hysterics. Hysterics turns to into falling and falling turns into breaking bones. The teacher is shipped out in an ambulance, and Bobby is shipped to the principal. There, he finds himself in "Correctional Erectional Therapy." Yes, it's totally a real thing. ;)This book is full of satire, sarcasm, and of course, ridicule. Bobby struggles with his untimely unipod throughout the entire story and catches flack (and punches to the garbanzo beans) from everyone in school. Just when he resigns to the fact that his reputation is ruined for life, he meets the beautiful Allison. And, as irony would have it, Allison is the new math teacher's daughter. Poor Bobby just can't win!Every single character in this book is over the top! The best friend, Finkelstein, makes me laugh every time he appears. His laugh and the way he says girls want to "taste his taste buds" are pure entertainment. Finkelstein is obsessed with girls and has these absurd outlooks on women and want they need and want. Again, quality entertainment. Throw in a chronically naked grandfather with no filter on his mouth and a neurotic mother who simply cannot keep up with "The Joneses," and you have yourself a hilarious tale about the pains of growing up. Boys will be signing up to get their own library card just to read this book!

  • Barbara
    2019-04-19 20:04

    I'm glad that Alan Sitomer writes books that often appeal to a forgotten audience. I enjoyed Hip-Hop High School and The Secret Story of Sonia Rodriguez, and while his most recent book probably seeks to attract a different kind of audience, it disappointed me. Maybe you have to be a teen boy to appreciate this one, but I grew tired very fast of all the erection and flatulence jokes found throughout the book. While I'm glad someone approached this particular topic--involuntary erections that rise up [See? Now he's got me doing it too!] at the most inopportune and embarrassing moments, especially in class. Yes, that's the problem for Bobby Connor, 13. There's no telling when his body will betray him, and despite his attempts to hide the problem, he becomes humiliated during math class one day. When his new math teacher turns out to be father of a new girl on whom he has a crush, Bobby almost gives up hope for a happy ending. Middle grade boys will love this one, but I didn't particularly like Bobby or his parents [his mother worries about what the neighbors will think and his father suggests that he not aim too high so he won't be disappointed when looking for a girlfriend], and his grandfather, who redeems himself in the end, was just too coarse for words. I'm no stick in the mud, but one-note humor doesn't amuse me for long; nor do characters as flat as some of these. When Allison suddenly puts her too-controlling father in check, it was too much for me. Amusing, yes, but likely, I doubt it.

  • Jill
    2019-05-07 15:45

    3.5The further I got into The Downside of Being Up, the more I liked it (with the exception of the first chapter which was filled with hilarious epithets for an erection--which was also the funniest thing about this book). The novel is very cartoonish; everyone is a caricature-ish stereotype. The parents are irredeemable jerks, Bobby is a total ass to his best friend, and the pervy, demented grandpa is the hero. If you don't take this novel seriously at all, it's entertaining. And it really isn't about boners at all, just an awkward kid with his first crush. That is a helluva gimmick though; it certainly got my attention. Recommended for middle school boys and those possessing their sense of humor.

  • Christiana
    2019-04-19 15:41

    Maybe I'm missing something, but I was not that impressed with this book. Then again, I am not a middle school boy (or a male at all, for that matter) so I'm willing to think it's just not geared towards my demographic. However, you know that scene in Mulan where she says she never wants to see a naked man again and then all these naked men run past her? That's what this book was like in a way. I don't need to read any more synonyms for a penis (bologna pony? That's a thing?) OR hear about the newest gross out tactic (putting a booger on a cockroach's back is just nasty) for a long long time. I do give this book props for explaining that it's completely normal to get tons of erections over nothing, although it sure took the long way around to do it.

  • James
    2019-04-30 20:38

    Weinerschnitzel. Steel pole. Bit of thunder. Beef Kabob. South-of-the-Border Sausage. Salami. Stiffies. Ding-dong. Banana. Sky-high pork pie. Bologna pony. Bonerville. Every 13-yo boy has to deal with it, someone finally wrote about it. This is a book about a boy and his boner. The first few chapters provide more euphemisms than plot details (see my opening paragraph). But the overall story is one every boy can identify with, and they may enjoy the humor that comes from a shared experience or enjoy a laugh at another kid's expense. However, if you want to avoid being a creepy adult talking about boy boners to a class of kids -- probably best to let this one be a book they discover on their own.

  • Sarah Mae
    2019-04-29 16:44

    Bobby Connor is a normal thirteen-year-old boy with a normal boy problem: erections at awkward moments. After an unwanted erection causes his math teacher to have a serious fall, he is being threatened with expulsion. His father strikes a deal with the school, no expulsion but Bobby has to complete “correctional erectional therapy” Between therapy, falling for the new math teacher’s daughter, and dealing with his gross friend and even grosser Grandpa, will Bobby ever feel like a normal kid again?Recommended for anyone who loves bathroom humor, this book is overflowing with it.

  • PaulHankins
    2019-05-20 21:02

    This is one you'll have to read for yourself. The subject of the book is one of a personal, but most familiar, issue for boys. With NERD GIRLS and now THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING UP, Alan Sitomer is securing his place as a middle grade humor writer which will no doubt put in a well-deserved place with authors like Lubar, Paulsen, and Sachar. Alan writes this one pretty true to the pre-adolescent/adolescent experience, complete with the anxiety that comes from within and the humor without. Encourage young guy readers to find this title. It could be that they get more information about this subject than any other place.LADDER WITH:SWIM THE FLY by Don Calame

  • Lisa Scott
    2019-05-20 16:57

    As other reviewers have said, I am so not the target audience for this book. (I keep hearing it called "Judy Blume for boys," which is odd considering how many of her books are already great for boys, but I get the idea.) Lots and lots of gross-out humor. There is a nice story underneath, and I wound up liking the girl who is Bobby's crush-- she actually gets to be a real person. I don't think I could manage to recommend it to my sixth graders without blushing furiously, but I won't need to. One kid will discover it and it will make the rounds without any help. Especially after it starts getting banned (if it hasn't already).

  • Nicole Smith
    2019-05-03 15:37

    I'm really glad I was able to breeze through this in one day. If I hadn't gotten stuck waiting for several hours for friends with only this to read, and if I wasn't such a stickler for finishing books I start I don't think I would have finished this one.The biggest thing I took away from this book is that I am not excited about having teenage boys in my care someday. I will say, I greatly appreciated the lack of profanity in this book that is praised for capturing teen speak and high school culture.

  • Terry
    2019-05-08 22:05

    This book starts out funny and ends up sweet. Yes, there are many penis jokes. Otherwise, this is fairly straight-forward, middle-school material. And there should be a place for this, because a slice of guy readers will be entranced by the early naughtiness of "Down Side." For boys who aren't hooked by fantasy or sports lit, this offers an alternative. Follow it up with Boy Minus Girl, MAD Magazine, and the like.

  • Chris Mclean
    2019-05-02 20:05

    Very funny, kind of inappropriate book.....Bobby has an erection in math class ( he gets them a lt) and scares his old lady teacher so much that she trips, falls and will be out for the rest of the year. The new teacher has a daughter that Bobby thinks is cute....There are more jokes about erections that I can even count...and fart jokes, too.I totally loved this book. It's one Inwould give my sons but I guess one that I really can't hand to a student. Too bad, because it is funny and a little touching too.

  • Mike
    2019-05-12 18:04

    Imagine the kid from Diary of a Wimpy Kid being plagued by the reality of puberty---uncontrollable boners. That is what this book is. It is funny in a very juvenile way. Buried under all the slang terms for penises there really is a decent coming of age story. There are things that bothered me about the story--mainly Bobby being sent to Errectional Correctional Therapy that seemed completely ridiculous but made more sense and slightly more believable by the end of the story. Not sure who I would recommend it to....but I'm sure it is one that will be passed from boy to boy.

  • Jennifer
    2019-05-20 19:36

    This is a book about erections. And although the number of penis references alone will probably make school librarians shy away from it, but this is a book targeted to the young adolescent male if there ever was one! Bobby's attempts at "correctional erectional therapy" will have them howling, but this is also a story of relationships, first love, raging hormones, and life in middle school. Written by a teacher - gotta love that!

  • Juniper
    2019-04-23 20:03

    This is from the first person view of a middle school aged boy that gets in trouble for getting a 'boner' in class. For all of its penis references this is a pretty funny book for/about a boy of that age, trying to deal with his body, his new crush, his unhelpful parents and at the same time doing right by a few people he has wronged.This was a quick read that didn't fall into any of the usual traps. I am on a 'boy's perspective' roll right now and I like it!

  • Becky
    2019-05-13 17:45

    This book is about a middle school boy who gets a lot of boners. While it dove into the boner issue right away, it didn't mention it at all on the jacket flap, which I think is a bit of a misrepresentation. Lots of juvenile toiler humor in this one as well as penis jokes that are kind of funny at first, but wear out quickly. Probably hilarious to the 5th-8th grade set - it is clearly written with the lowest of the YA range in mind.

  • Madison Trittler
    2019-05-13 14:37

    This month I read The Downside of Being Up by Alan Sitomer. This book genre is a fictional novel. This book is about a teenager who use to have a normal boring life then something happened. He changed and started having a unreal life. I rated the book 3. stars because it was intresting but could be more exciting.

  • Brenda Kahn
    2019-05-03 17:41

    I had such high hopes for this one. Sure the humor was a bit ham-handed - perfect for the intended demographic. The story was a bit limp. It started out like a farce. In a farce, I can accept unlikely premises and cardboard characters, but then it tried to be earnest and crammed in a bit too many issues that were too tidily resolved.

  • Ben
    2019-05-16 14:41

    This is a Judy Blume book for boys. It is so wildly inappropriate at times that it is hilarious. While I would not recommend it to my students (in the same way many middle school and high school teachers shy away from recommending Judy Blume), I think many of them may benefit from Bobby's experiences with puberty.

  • Karla
    2019-05-09 19:38

    I LOVED this book! So much humor! If you are looking for a really funny quick read this should be your choice! If you are looking for a literary piece of art this is not for you. BUT if you are looking for a connection with puberty humor this is a win! I think it is a great book to get teenage boys involved in reading.

  • Tweller83
    2019-05-01 17:50

    Other than all the erection puns, this is a good relationship novel. Not sure I could actually recommend it to boys as they might get the wrong idea. Will have to look at reviews before I decide to purchase or not."All Bobby Connor wants is to survive middle school, but puberty is making that difficult for him as his body conspires against him."

  • Becky37042
    2019-05-14 17:51

    This book was laugh out loud funny. I'm worried that the students may never get to read it because I have so many teachers who want to read it. There are more words for male genitalia than I have ever seen before.

  • Sarah
    2019-04-25 21:51

    For a book about boners, this was surprisingly sweet. Good middle grade problem novel with plenty of humor. If I were an 11 or 12 year old boy, I think I'd like having read this. While I don't personally like toilet humor, I know lots who do. Glad I bought for my library.

  • Kristi
    2019-05-08 20:56

    This is a very funny story about a middle school boy who is betrayed regularly by his adolescent body. He has a serious problem with embarrassing, untimely erections. One in particular gets him into trouble at school. This would be a great book for middle school boys!

  • katsok
    2019-05-06 21:01

    This book cracked me up. Sitomer has written a perfect book for teenage boys dealing with puberty. I think the target audience is likely not a 37 mom, but even I was laughing out loud several times as I read this.

  • Laima
    2019-04-25 22:06

    I read this book based on excellent reviews by GR friends. It was sooooooo funny! Really enjoyed it.

  • Laura Schaefer
    2019-04-20 21:41

    I thought this book was hilarious.