Read The Quotable Douchebag: A Treasury of Spectacularly Stupid Remarks by Margaret McGuire Online

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Did he really just say that?!?   Douchebags have a gift for speaking the unspeakable. Vain, arrogant, brash, and clueless, they’re the worst the male species has to offer—and now their most outlandish statements have been compiled into a single volume. The Quotable Douchebag features dozens of boneheaded and tasteless remarks from actors, musicians, athletes, and politiciaDid he really just say that?!?   Douchebags have a gift for speaking the unspeakable. Vain, arrogant, brash, and clueless, they’re the worst the male species has to offer—and now their most outlandish statements have been compiled into a single volume. The Quotable Douchebag features dozens of boneheaded and tasteless remarks from actors, musicians, athletes, and politicians, including:   David Hasselhoff: “There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.”   Gene Simmons: “[I] don’t believe there’s any difference between a monogamous and a polygamous relationship. Those are all just big words, like gymnasium.”   Sean Hannity: “I’ll tell you who should be tortured and killed at Guantanamo: every filthy Democrat in the U.S. Congress.”   And many, many more....

Title : The Quotable Douchebag: A Treasury of Spectacularly Stupid Remarks
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781594744259
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 144 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

The Quotable Douchebag: A Treasury of Spectacularly Stupid Remarks Reviews

  • East Bay J
    2018-10-29 08:44

    Douchebags. We all know them. We all hate them. Unless we are them, I suppose. The Quotable Douchebag collects dozens of douchey quotes from dozens of notable douchebags. Some of the quotes are from folks who are douchebags through ignorance, others douchebags through arrogance. Here are some fine examples:Richard Gere:“I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe and someone said I was a snake, I would think, “No, actually, I am a giraffe.”(No, Richard, actually, what you are is a terrible actor.)Clayton Williams, 1990 Republican candidate for governor of Texas: “Bad weather is like rape. If it’s inevitable, just relax and enjoy it.”(Someone please rape this moron.)Sylvester Stallone:“I see my body as a classy chassis to carry my mind around in.”(What mind?)Vincent Gallo:“I stopped painting in 1990 at the peak of my success just to deny people my beautiful paintings; and I did it out of spite.”(Vincent Gallo… let’s see… who’s Vincent Gallo… Oh, yeah! I remember now! He’s the sh*tty actor/writer/director from… what was that sh*tty movie called?)Drew Gooden basketball:“I’ve had to overcome a lot of diversity.”(Why do they point the mic at people who have never been required or even encouraged to become educated or develop their communication and public speaking skills?)Liam Gallagher:Oasis might not be the biggest band in the world, but we’re the best.”(You mean were the best band? No, because your songs were pabulum when you were a so called "band.") R. Kelly:“My greatest competition is, well, me… I’m the Ali of today. I’m the Marvin Gaye of today. I’m the Bob Marley of today. I’m the Martin Luther King or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now.”(It’s actually a blessing this idiot doesn’t realize how mediocre and untalented he is. We wouldn’t want his “fragile” ego to get bruised, after all.)Arnold Schwarzenegger:“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”(And this genius runs my state. No wonder things are bad in Cali.)Stephen Baldwin (the man who ruined Slapshot 2):“I’d like to knock some good sense into Barrack [Obama:]. I wouldn’t hurt him. But, if he wins the election, he’ll hurt me. He’s a cultural terrorist.” (HUH?!?)There are also quotes from douchebagettes because, of course, woman can be douchebags, too! I mean, Ann Coulter, right? Need I say more? If I do, how about Republican rep Katherine Harris? “I think that our laws, I mean, I look at how the laws originated, even from Moses, the Ten Commandments… That’s how all of our laws originated in the United States, period. I think that’s the basis for our rule of law.” And there’s that classy lady, Paris Hilton, who said, “I love being all natural.” Oh, Paris, you nut!There are a few quotes, however, that don’t seem to belong in this book. For example, John McCain did say, “Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.” But it’s not that which makes him a douchebag, it’s all that other stuff. Billy Carter, Jimmy’s bro, isn’t a douchebag for saying, “Paintings are like beer. Only beer tastes good and it’s hard to stop drinking beer.” That’s an essentially correct statement and not a douche thing to say at all. Finally, when Chuck Norris said, “I would not want to be a politician… If I was campaigning and I was going against my opponent and he started attacking my character and I leapt over the table and choked him unconscious, would that help my campaign?” it made me want him to be a politician. Saying you might choke a politician is not douchebaggery. Saying you might choke a politician is like teasing. It makes Chuck a tease. Methinks Maragret doth spread her douchebag definition too far.

  • Sarah
    2018-10-25 06:20

    "I don't believe there's a difference between a monogamous and a polygamous relationship. Those are all just big words, like gymnasium."~Gene SimmonsThis book rules.

  • David
    2018-10-21 06:48

    received this as a gift from one of my students (hmmm). Pretty funny, quick read collecting exactly what the subtitle suggests.At the risk of taking it too seriously, I started trying to induce a taxonomy of d-baggery. I think the main categories were:1. mangled statements (GW Bush figures prominently here in this book)2. obvious or circular-reasoning statements3. dumb/oblivious quotes4. bragging/narcissistic statements5. culturally insensitive onesOnly 4 and 5 really struck me as core d-baggery. If you hear, say, Dan Quayle saying something that came out wrong, you might think he's inarticulate or (perhaps unfairly) that he's unintelligent, but i'm not sure you'd settle on "what a douchebag" as the inference. Perhaps in another 50 years scholars can pin down the definition more precisely.

  • Nospin
    2018-11-08 04:26

    A book compiled by a Liberal. Very dissappointed that a book on Doucebags would not a bevy of quotes from the #1 Douchbag of all time: Bill Clinton. I feel bad that I ewaste my money on this attack on Fox News reporters and Republicans. One would automatically conclude that a book on Douchebags would include quotes from John Edwards, Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, John Kerry, Chris Matthews, Ed Schultz etc etc....In the intro, she identifies ALL Fox News employyees as Douchebags. How pathetic is that broad brush? It is time to complie a Douchebag book with Liberal quotes. That book would be several editions.A waste of money. I highly recommend that you save your money and not buy this book. It is just a book written by a political hack.

  • Nancy
    2018-11-12 07:25

    I got this book as a gift and it was a light, fun read. It took me an hour to read. It is essentially a book of politically incorrect, or just plain stupid quotes from politicians and certain celebrities. Unfortunately the book literally fell apart in my hands as I was finishing reading it. The binding is exceptionally awful and the pages are now completely separated from the spine as well as each other. Don't spend money on this book! Look for it in a library, or better yet, read it at the bookstore and leave it there.

  • Wayne
    2018-11-02 07:43

    I read this book in less than an hour. Funny, but nothing special.

  • Michele
    2018-11-17 10:39

    This is like a fifteen minute read. Who can't like that? It's funny and sad what our nation's celebrities/politicians really think about themselves and others.

  • Matt
    2018-11-04 12:43

    AWESOME!!!

  • Steve
    2018-10-20 04:33

    Were all of this things really said by the people they are attributed to?

  • Margaret Novak
    2018-10-20 10:45