Read Wallbanger by Alice Clayton Online

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Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we're not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O. Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oCaroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we're not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O. Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she's ever heard. Each moan, spank, and—was that a meow?—punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O. Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension's gonna be thick... In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy. Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight....

Title : Wallbanger
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 2940015785180
Format Type : Nook
Number of Pages : 280 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Wallbanger Reviews

  • Aestas Book Blog
    2018-11-13 01:45

    5 HUGE STARS!!!!LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK!! EVERYONEHASTO READ IT!!!This book was brilliant!!Pure gold!I’m in love with Simon. Completely, utterly in love.My cheeks ache from laughing.My heart is happy.Did I mention I love this book? This book was pure, decadent, lighthearted, un-put-downable, FUN!! A well-written, perfect blend of all things happy, romantic, sweet, funny (hilarious, really), melty, swoony, witty, steamy, with just enough tender, deeper moments to make my heart squeeze. I fell in love with everything – the characters, the writing, the story… and Clive. The most awesome cat ever to grace the pages of a novel.It was just one winning line after another. I swear to freaking God, more than half my book is highlighted. No joke!! The banter! The chemistry! The flirting! The texts!!!! *melt* The nooking! The wooing! … this book is just loaded with win! I read most of it with a big stupid grin plastered on my face and pretty much just alternated between squeeing, squealing, giggling, snorting, crying, shaking and cackling with laughter.What’s this book about though? Now, usually, I write my own descriptions, but I love the official blurb too much so here it is: Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…Simon “Wallbanger” Parker.Cocky, charming, sexy as all hell, confident… and once we got to know him better, sweep-you-off-your-feet swoony. I adored him, its that simple. He has made me list of top book boyfriends ever! I loved that his character had depth. At first you kind of wondered if he was just a bit of a manwhore but I loved that there was a whole background to him. And its hard not to love a man who is obsessed with baked goods.“You want me to cut you a piece — okay, or you could just do that.” I frowned as he took a giant bite out of the end.“Thif if mine, righ?” he asked, spraying crumbs.“How do you function in normal society?” I asked shaking my head as he took another monster bite.I loved Caroline too. She was sweet yet feisty and refreshingly direct about everything. Brain, Heart, Nerves, Backbone, and of course, O were brilliant additions to the story!I loved how casually Simon and Caroline’s relationship developed. They were seriously one of the sweetest couples ever but there was no falling into bed on first sight for them.“Now, you listen, mister.” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.” They went from cockblocker/wallbanger to truce status to friends to lovers. The whole process just warmed my heart. And throw in a healthy dollop of sexual tension and innuendos out the wazoo and you pretty much have a recipe for awesome.“I like that we’re taking things slow. You give good woo,” I whispered.I never once felt any urges to throttle a character, or yell at them.. no eye rolling. Nothing. I was just one purely satisfied reader … Oh, and “Simon goes commando. God bless America.”Flaily Pink Nightie Girl and Mr Wallbanger Snorey Pants will always have a special place in my heart <3 Guys, READ THIS BOOK!!!!! CASTING (see above and below)For more of my reviews, visit Aestas Book BlogAnd come join the Aestas Book BlogFacebook Page

  • Richa
    2018-11-24 04:29

    BANG BANG BANG!Oh God............BANG BANG BANG!! Oh God................BANG BANG BANG!!!OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!THE WALLS ARE SHAKING, PICTURES ARE FALLING DOWN!!!! RUN FOR COVER PEOPLE!!! GRAB YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK, SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR DRESS AND HIDE UNDER THE TABLE!! I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BUT Wait A Sec...........Not an earthquake...........nope, definitely not an earthquake.......One, only one wall is shaking.....LIKE SOMEONE'S BANGING ON IT!!!!Let's take a closer look, Shall we?“OH, GOD.” Thump. “Oh, God.” Thump thump. What the… “Oh, God, that’s so good!” “Mmmm…Yeah, baby. Right there. Just like that…Don’t stop, don’t stop!” OH! OH! OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Mystery solved, readers!Meet NOT The Wallbanger.....BUT THE WALLBANGER!!!!!!!!!!!Name: Simon Wallbanger ParkerAge: 28 yearsOccupation: Freelance photographerInterests: Pleasing the ladies by doing it in a rattling-the headboard-shaking-the-wall-making-a-woman-meow-and-giggle style with maybe some spanking thrown in!!! He can definitely bang it home, ladies!!!Definitely a wallbanger!!!---------------------------------------------------------------Notice Something MISSING???That's right!!! The BIG 'O'Meet 'O'. This Orgasm (O) is the....Property of: Caroline Pink Nightie Girl Reynolds, a 26 year old interior designer.Missing since: Last Six MonthsCulprit: Cory Weinstein. The machine-gun fucker who’d hijacked the ODescription of the event by the victim: This was the worst kind of sex. This was machine-gun style: fast, fast, fast. This was thirty seconds on the tits, sixty seconds on something that was about an inch above where he should have been, and then in. And out. And in. And out. And in. And out.But at least it was over quick, right? Hell, no. This horribleness went on for months. Well, no. But for almost thirty minutes. Of in. And out. And in. And out. My poor hoohah felt like it had been sandblasted.Remedies Tried: Jason Bourne, Matt Damon, George Clooney.....ALL OF THEM HAVE FAILED!!!!!!WHAT TO DO NOW??????????????Let's look for someone closer to home........Simon Wallbanger meet Caroline. Caroline meet Simon Wallbanger!!!!Problem solved!!!! YAYYY!!But, NO WAIT, WHAT'S THIS?“Why are you such a manwhoring asshole?” I asked. “Why are you such a cockblocking priss?” he askedNOOOOOOOOOO...........NOW, HOW WILL WE EVER FIND....?????????????????????????Oh no.........I'm not crying.......Alright, yes I am......but how can I not when I'm laughing so hard!!![image error]So, readers....why don't you continue the search while I LA-U-GH MY HE-AD O-F-F!!!!!-------------------------------------------------------------WARNING: 1)Beware of one-night stands that could make your 'O' go on a vacation for a long time or even forever. :0 2)Be aware of the walls you build and what could be on the other side3) Clive, the cat too is trying to find his 'one and only' Purina ever since he heard the 'meow'ing through the walls and fell in love or maybe lust(so what if he's neutered? He's allowed to have feelings!!)!!......He is now following in the footsteps of the Wallbanger!!!! So, beware, he's one hissy and horny ball of lust and fur!!Clive: I allowed myself to dream. Of her. The one that got away...........[image error]

  • Blacky *Romance Addict*
    2018-11-15 04:44

    Text messages between The Book and Blacky:So, what do you think about me?Well you weren't short at all :DWell yeah I'm pretty long... and thick...Just about average I'd sayPfttt you are average missy! Didn't you like all the humor?Yeah it was good I guess, the scene with Dr. Ross was the best :DOhhhh yes, makes me think of dirty things, that man. I wish I had my O back :(Yes, I wish it too! Your O brought more frustration to me than it did to you!Whatcha sayin'? You didn't like all the sexual frustration? How is that possible?How is that possible indeed -.-And what about my story? What did you think of that?Story? What story? Book, all you talked about was the lack of orgasms, flirtation, sexual frustration, sex... I may have forgotten a sexual thing or two that were mentioned :PMmmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :(Hello book! Focus! I am talking to you!Talking? Talking about sex? Mmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :(I am facepalming here! Can you try to have a nice conversation without thinking of sex?Me? Thinking about sex? Mmmmmmm sexxxxxx. Me wants the big O :(Sigh. I give up.Did you just write "sigh"???Well that's a hell of a time to start noticing!! :PBlacky, Simon, Caroline, The Cat, The Book and The Friends are on a road trip, traveling in the car together:BlackyOMG I have to endure several hours in the car with Mr. Horny and Ms. Hornier and the CatfromHell. Ughhh. The friends are interesting though, but even they think of nothing but sex. I see Simon is looking at Caroline in a smouldering way. His eyes don't stop twinkling for goodness sake!SimonWhy am I thinking about Caroline all the time? Hm must mean I want to wallbang her too. Damn that will be tough cause she can't stop arguing with me. Why does she hate me so much? Oh yeah, I bang girls like crazy. Mmmmmmmm. Banging... Walls... Why doesn't this car have walls?????CarolineSimon keeps touching the inside of the car, I don't think he likes it. He does like f*cking girls through the wall though. I want to be f*cked through a wall :( Wait, no! I don't! I hate Simon! But he's so pretty, my lower Caroline says... I don't care! He's a jerk! But I keep flirting with him all the time, my lower Caroline says... So what! I can flirt and do whatever I like 'cause I don't have my O anymore. Oh O how I miss you :(((The CatfromHellThey don't have a clue *evil laugh*. I will make their lives misarable *evil laugh*. The girl loves me, but I don't plan to let her have her O back with the arrogant man *evil laugh*. I will spoil all their plans eventually *evil laugh*. My throat hurts from all the evil laughing *coughs*SimonDid that cat just evil laughed at me???? I must be hearing things. Oh well back to thinking about sex. And Caroline. Damn, I'm hard. Will she stop looking at me with those hungry eyes? Damn, I'm even harder now. Must. Squirm. In. My. Seat!CarolineSimon keeps squirming all the time. What is his problem??? He's got to have a big hard-on just for me. Too bad I can't give it to him cause he's a jerk and I don't have my O back. But I feel some suspicious fluttering, my lower Caroline says... YAY! I'm gonna jump him as soon as I can! Without actually having sex with him! Ahhhh I just love that sexual frustration...The FriendsThey are all so stupid ahahahaha we have found our someones to have sex with ahahahahaha we don't suffer any sexual frustration ahahahahahaBlackyOMG these people are driving me crazy! Simon is trying to hide his hard-on, Caroline is talking to her belly, the cat is making some funny evil noises, and the friends are probably high or something, they can't stop laughing. Jeez :((( Is anything going to happen here that doesn't have anything to do with sex or having sex or the lack of sex???Guess not :(The BookI am so happy :D Everyone is horny and thinking about sex! So awesome! I am never going to let anyone do it ever again! Well, maybe The Friends will. But man oh man, there's nothing better than blue balls and frustration! Just love it! Oh I have to think of a few scenes (well make it dozen at least), where they'll want to have sex but couldn't do it for some reason! Oh yes! I think I will form an alliance with The CatfromHell. Awesome!Oh! Mmmmm.. Yes, more to the left! Harder! Yesssssss... Oh yes, that's soooo gooood! Harder, yes, there! Push it! Ohhhhhhhhh I just love going to the masseur! You'd THINK I was doing something naughty. But no.Lots of these in the book too :DDD Anyway let me tell you what I thought about it in general. No plot whatsoever.Too much sexual frustration.Humor was OK, but would be better if there was just a bit less of it, you know, sometimes too much of a good thing can make you sick :DI don't really mind the fact that they had to wait practically for the (view spoiler)[end of the book to do the deed. (hide spoiler)] Read lots of books like that, didn't mind it. In this case, all the sex talk and sex thought, and lack of orgasm talk, and lack of orgasm thought, and flirting all the freaking time, and getting it on a few times, just to stop at the good part... No. A bit f*cking no for me. Every damn chapter was about the things I said above, nothing else. It may be good to read this in small doses, but a whole book? No. Thanks. Sorry.What I liked:My favorite scene from the whole book is when they watched the Exorcist, and they slept together in her bed. Very very lovely, and I think the only scene that was nice without some sexual overtones. Maybe there were a few, but nothing that stood out. Perfect scene in my opinion :)When they went to Spain :) Even though when I read that they'll go through all the bases before the deed... I lost a few million neurons from that, my brain kinda had a stroke or something cause I wanted to burn the damn book if only I had the paperback. Lucky for me I have an e-book reader so I felt too sorry to smash it to bits. But I was tempted!!!!Anyway, the ending of Spain was great, very realistic and I'm glad the author did it that way! The style of writing was VERY good, can't say anything about that, I just wish the humor and sex-everything was a little toned down, and if there was a story thrown in. But oh well, can't have everything, right??Text messages between The Book and BlackySo you didn't like me very much then? :((I did like you, you poor sex-obsessed thing! But I guess I wanted a bit more from you...Blacky, you just have lousy taste in books, admit it! I am awesome!Hey, won't argue with you there :D You might be awesome, but to someone else.And I sure am! Look at all the other great reviews I have :PI am! I did! And I hope my review won't turn anyone from the book, it isn't my fault my brain couldn't cope with it :((Nice of you to admit your deranged brain Blacky! I knew there must have been something seriously wrong with you if you didn't like me! Phew! Glad to know now ehehehehehHey just don't spread it around OK?!No problemo, my Blacky :D I will just continue my sexless scheming for other people! Oh yeah!*buddy read 06.01. with Steph, Sharon, Karen, Kristal, Endless and whoever decides to join*Thanks so much for reading this with me my friends :)["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Navessa
    2018-12-07 02:38

    Have you ever been in the honeymoon phase with someone? You know, that dreamy world where everything the other person does is magic and you can’t seem to get enough of each other? Usually during this time you go AWOL from the rest of your lives for a few weeks and mash your squishy bits together 24/7. At some point (usually when chafing forces you out of your hormone induced frenzy) you remember there are other people in your life and so you emerge from your lust-filled cocoon and introduce this incredible person to your friends. You ask them afterwards what they thought of him, your face lit from within and your eyes all misty…“Isn’t (insert name here) amazing? Don’t you just love him?” you ask breathily. “Uh, yeah…” one of your friends answers with some hesitation. “What? What’s wrong?” you make the mistake of asking. Your friend squirms for a minute before responding. “Doesn’t the way he talks over everyone annoy you a little ?” “Huh? He doesn’t do that,” you argue. Oh but you’re wrong. You’re so wrong. You might not notice it right away because you’re blinded by lust but another week, maybe two, and you'll begin to come down from your sexual high and the blinders will come off. That’s when you'll realize your friend was right. And now that she’s pointed it out, its all you'll be able to focus on.I’ve read enough romance to be familiar with the use of pet names. They never used to bother me. I used to think they were endearing. You see, like the example above, I was too distracted by the schmexy times to really pay them any attention. But somewhere along the way I read a review in which someone (I can’t remember who or I’d totally name drop you right now) pointed out just how annoying pet names are and ever since then they’ve bothered the crap out of me. There are pet names and then there are pet names. This book may have the worst one ever. Are you ready? Nightie Girl Really? Yup. Okay, that aside this book had a lot of potential. In the beginning it was funny. I mean really funny. The main character's name is Caroline and her internal monologue is hilarious. She anthropomorphizes her cat, talks about her hoohah in the third person and lost her orgasm to a rabbity one night stand. The walls in her new apartment are so thin she can hear her neighbor banging a different woman each night. One likes to be spanked, one meows her way to climax and another one laughs (and giggles and snorts and guffaws) her way to the same. What’s even worse is that her headboard shares a wall with her nympho neighbor and he’s so…er…energetic in bed that his “thumping” actually knocks pictures down on her side. For obvious reasons she nicknames him "Wallbanger" and is both intrigued and disgusted by him. Then one night she can’t tolerate anymore 2 am wakeups and storms over to his door to rage out at him, forgetting that she’s wearing a pink nightie. This is where her nickname is earned. It’s also where you see the potential chemistry between the two of them. So, what’s not to love about this book? It has a great setup, a lot of humor, the promise for a slow buildup of tension and the potential for hate-sex. The biggest problem is that it doesn’t deliver. In the beginning I laughed a lot. I loved the caustic interactions between Caroline, aka Nightie Girl and Simon, aka Wallbanger. There were some support character issues revolving around the seemingly perfect pairing off of their friends as couples that almost made me quit early on but I was too excited to see what would happen between the main characters to give up. Especially since right after this pairing there’s an argument, a bitch slap and some hate-kissing between Nightie Girl and Wallbanger. I think if they’d remained enemies longer it would have been better. I came up with a huge list of things they could do to torture each other (yes I have issues) before they ended up giving in to their baser needs. Giggity. Sadly, this doesn’t happen. Instead, they boringly (some might say maturely) opt to try for a truce. The truce leads to them becoming friends and Simon goes from being an indifferent badass to this guy: “Wow, it’s almost ten! I’ve taken up your entire evening. I hope you didn’t have plans.”Still, there was enough humor that I pushed myself to continue. Halfway through I was glad I did. The pages stopped reeking of aged Gouda, the dumb ‘coincidences’ ended and our main characters started to admit their attraction to each other. Everything fell apart for me three quarters of the way through, when (view spoiler)[ they finally get together. They go to Spain. And rent a beautiful house overlooking the ocean. IN SPAIN. I should have known something was wrong when they didn’t immediately christen every room in their secluded rental. IN SPAIN. No, instead they want to take things slow. Because neither they, nor the readers, have literary blue balls.And take it slow they do. The book turns into total sap for 40 pages, 40 PAGES, before they finally get it on. It’s steamy, until…YES...until...MMMMM…UNTIL IT SUCKER PUNCHES YOU! What? Sonofa!!!There’s this huge buildup and her O is still lost. I was so irritated I skimmed the last 70 pages. They go on an O hunt. It ends with a HEA. It wasn't enough to redeem itself. (hide spoiler)]In short, great premise, huge potential but for me, it didn’t deliver. This review can also be found on The Book Eaters.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Katerina
    2018-11-30 06:37

    “Kittens,lay back.You are about to get Wallbanged.”I was an addict craving her dose.I was lost in a dull world full of mundane stuff for so long I almost became a mundane myself.After a month of abstinence from reading and severe book deprivation,after long days and bookless nights,the time came to return where I belong.And I had to celebrate!I wanted something light.I wanted saucy and funny and Wallbanger promised to deliver them all.And oh boy,it did!But it also delivered sweet,and fluffy,and dreamy and a new book boyfriend that reduced me into a puddle of goo.It's official people,I'm in love!Again!“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”Caroline has a wonderful job and wonderful friends and a wonderful new apartment and a wonderful cat and her life would be-guess what-wonderful if it wasn't for two things:her missing O and her neighbor's loud midnight activities.“The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?”What sucks though is that the aforementioned annoying but gifted neighbor is super hot.Sahara hot.And that Caroline is forced to play nice with Simon despite wanting to bang his head on the banging wall but at the same time she wants him to bang her against the god-banging wall.See the problem here?“You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed.“You have no idea,” he promised.”The result?Tension,innuendos,sexual frustration,banters,tension,laugh-out-loud moments,tension and did I mention tension?Oh,and a really horny cat!Alice Clayton's writing is freaking hilarious,I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard!I had permanently a huge grin plastered on my face and I hosted a butterfly party in my stomach and that wasn't the work of Caroline and Simon's off-the-charts chemistry alone!The way their feelings developed and unfolded was really heartwarming and sweet,a slowly burning process that made Wallbanger a really romantic book!They cooked together,they watched movies together,they shared their secrets and hopes and then they gave in to their animal attraction.I must admit I never expected a guy named Simon to be this sexy!Oh how I wish I had a wallbanging neighbor but alas!,the closest house is my late grandfather's house.If I hear those walls banging,it will be the beginning of a Supernatural episode and not a great romance.Unless Sam Winchester pops up and rescues me.That would be nice.My point is,if you want to laugh and swoon and escape stupid reality,this is the book for you!Plus,you're going to meet a very interesting cat...

  • Kristen
    2018-12-10 23:55

    Review posted at:Swept Away By Romance 3 1/2 to 4 starsThere's no doubt Wallbanger is a fun, delightful, moderately sexy, feel-good read that bordered on the ANNOYING. There were times I felt like wallbanging my head against the wall with the amount of unresolved sexual tension this poor couple was put through. Geez! This particular aspect of the story became so frustrating. I enjoyed getting to know the two main characters, Simon and Caroline. They were endearing, playful–maybe a little immature for their ages–but very likable characters. Their fun and witty banter and developing friendship was what I loved the most about this book. I can't end this review without a SHOUT-OUT to Clive, the cat. Oh, boy, could that cat be in the wrong place at the wrong time! Understatement of the century! But, I loved his involvement in the story. At times I felt the cat actually eclipsed the two main leads. I love when an author has the ability to make an animal an intricate part of the plot. Other than my previously mentioned annoyances, I had a blast reading this book. If you're looking for a simple, fun, and engaging afternoon read, you'll probably enjoy this one.

  • Cindy
    2018-11-27 02:32

    What is with these 'OMG! Super-Hot! Fun!' books that become all the rage here on GR lately? And they are all the same.A Mary Sue heroine with a perfect job and perfect friends who looks perfect but for some reason is alone and sexually frustrated. And she's all kinds of batshit about her perceptions of men or sex or men AND sex. Thus, the heroine of what exactly? Then the hero. Well he's of course otherworldly gorgeous and fit, although he puts absolutely no effort into becoming that way, and most of the time he's super rich (of course) and the very definition of Prince Charming, except more rouge and rascal than sweet and heroic. Thus, not really a hero.Even so, I usually make it farther than I did in this book and not because this book is worse - by no means will anything scar me worse than the virginity scene in In Flight *shivers* - but because I've just had enough. If I hadn't had enough I might have struggled through and given this 3 stars in the end.But that's another reason I'm doing this this way. 4 1/2 stars overall rating for this book? That is hysterically misleading.And this girls problems with her frakkin O and all of these blatant attempts as farcical humor are just too damn much. Oh, and this cat everyone is mooning over, Clive? He's the most unrealistic of all. He's like cartoon Garfield unrealistic. And trust me, I know some cats with personality but this is just stupid./rant.

  • Baba
    2018-12-05 05:48

    ETA: downgraded to 3 stars. September 20, 2015."Hello O! Nice to see you again. With his lips he brought me one."  3.5 stars. I mean it. And I want half stars!Once upon a time there was a missing O. The pressure of an O long denied, waiting patiently—and sometimes impatiently—for her release. Lucky you, because you found The Wallbanger. Simon: How’s the pressure now?Caroline: Do you want me to hurt you? Shut it! *a look of dreamy bliss on her face* Enter Baba… Hey guys! I wanna have a little chat with you. Are you game? *nodding heads left and right* *Baba beams*Okey-dokey, let’s get started. Honestly, I am not someone who beats around the bush. Are you two for real? *look of utter confusion on their faces* Oh, come on, are you a little bit slow on the uptake? When I was reading your story I had to wonder now and then why you could not jump each other’s bones sooner rather than later. Sheesh. Yep. By the way, I was waiting impatiently as well. I could feel the pressure and the sexual frustration tension, no doubt about it. If I take everything into account, then I have to tell you that you stressed my patience to its limit. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a great build-up but why oh why did you have to wait so long till you hit the sheets eventually? Tell me, guys, is there a specific reason? No, Simon, please do not interrupt me now since I’m warming up so nicely! Yeah, I got it. It’s been a very long time since you’ve had a girlfriend and you didn’t want to screw it up. Yeah, yeah, you didn't know how to handle the delicate situation. Point taken. Oh, Simon, no worries, I’ll be gentle. *pets* At least I’ll give it an honest shot.I’ll give it to you straight, dude. Your stay in Tahoe was one seriously annoying mess, at least if you ask me and if you don’t ask me I don’t care either. Period. Do you remember what happened there? I mean you have (view spoiler)[this make out session in the hot tub and then...poof. Nada. Rien ne va plus. You just chickened out. (hide spoiler)] Seriously? What the hell were you thinking? Poor Caroline was oh-so embarrassed. One thing’s for sure, you hurt her feelings big time. Yeah, congrats Simon, you did a fine job. Give me high five, you pussy! That said, I felt that your stammering was not sexy and your little insecurities were even less attractive and it didn’t mesh well with you banging Giggler and other kittens in the beginning of your story.  As an afterthought…I *think* I'm not quite gentle at the moment. Well, Simon, get over it already. Baba likes to be straightforward. *pets some more* Do you have any more skeletons in your closet? Uh-oh…now Baba is running away scared…*hides under a table* Sorry, I’m back to my serious self. *nods vigorously*Lake TahoeText between Simon and Caroline:So are you the type of girl who wears a big floppy hat on the beach?Pardon me?You know, those crazy giant beach hats? Do you have one?As it happens, yes. Is this a concern of yours?Concern, no. Just trying to get a visual of you on the beach in Spain…How's that working out for you?Pretty spiffy.Spiffy? Did you just say spiffy?I typed it actually. You got something against spiffy?This explains the old records…HEY!I enjoy the old records. You know this…I do know this…Are we really going to Spain together?Yep.Are you home? I didn't see the Rover this morning.Checking up on me?Perhaps…where are you, Simon?Have a shoot in L.A., driving back in a few days. Can I see you when I get back?We'll see…I'll play records for you.Spiffy.Well, and then there was Clive. Clive…the (view spoiler)[stupid cat. (hide spoiler)] I can't wrap my head around the fact that Clive had to mess up your path (view spoiler)[into sexual oblivion. (hide spoiler)] Oh my, Caroline, please come a little bit closer. Yeah, real close…don't pout now. Studly Simon did show some nice stamina; I mean he worked so hard to find your elusive O and I was like…almost there…almost there…and then I was like WTF? Can you believe it? You were a hair's breadth away from finding your happy ending…so, so close to end your dry spell and then (view spoiler)[the dumb cat had to attack. *pulls hair* (hide spoiler)]Forgive me when I have a moment of utter reflection...That was so not funny at all. If anything, it was pretty silly and annoying. Baba, keep your cool. *deep breath* Ok, I *think* I'm back to my normal self…not quite sure though. Sheesh, I need a drink (I don't drink). Sorry, I'm babbling. Shut it, Baba.Caroline, how are you today? Mmm…yes, I feel you, my lovely. It’s always nice to see a totally satisfied and happy woman. Yeah, I can see you being on cloud nine. After your O has been dancing in the periphery, wondering why she wasn't being granted immediate access, you really deserve some happy. But now you have control of the b*tch and it was worth the wait, don't you think? Hence, good things come to those who wait, and let me tell you that I’m very glad for you that the wait has come to an end. Lucky you, Wallbanger brought it home. Apropos, your bread is deliciously good! I hope you know the saying “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”All’s well that ends well.Unfortunately our little chat has to end now. I wish you plenty of love, fun and banter! Take care. Baba xxxP.S. Don't forget to tidy up your kitchen…flour and raisins everywhere. (view spoiler)[Sex in the kitchen is pretty messy, huh? (hide spoiler)]  Overall verdictWallbanger is a light and fun story. I was actually glad to dive into something fluffy because my last read was anything but hilarious. If anything, it was a super crazy ride. Then again, fluffy can grate my nerves as well, i. e. when the plot is scraping the edge of being a bit goofy or when the MCs just can’t. Get. It. On. Or when an annoying ex-boyfriend enters the stage. Or when (view spoiler)[a stupid cat is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Did I say that I wanted to hurt the cat?? (hide spoiler)] I think you get the gist.Granted, a hero’s insecurities can be boyishly cute, however, Simon is twenty-eight-years old for Pete’s sake and banging women against his neighbor’s wall. Oh well. Having said that, when these two finally—and I mean finally—came together, it made up for the negative parts of the plot. On a very positive note, I loved their funny texts and the interlude in Spain was pretty hot and very enjoyable too. Although I have (view spoiler)[to repeat that I wanted to hurt the cat big time. (hide spoiler)] In conclusion, I enjoyed Wallbanger and would recommend this book to those readers who are looking for something light and diverting. Don't take this story too seriously.   Expected publication date: November 27, 2012  **ARC courtesy by Alice Clayton, author, in behalf of Omnific Publishing. I appreciate it—thank you!** ["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  •  ♥Barb ♥
    2018-11-13 01:39

    *****5 Bring it on home, Wallbanger stars*****This was me 95% of the book...and more laughing.... *****************************************This is the story of wallbanging photographer Simon and interior designer Caroline. Their apartments are across the hall from each other and the walls are very very thin....so you can hear everything that's going on in each other's apartments. Are you following me so far? Well, Simon doesn't do relationships, flowers, etc....and one night while BANGING(yes he was)....he hears BANGING and not the kind you're thinking of....(DOOR BANGING)....he then meets the lovely Caroline. They don't get along at first...but then they become friends and things really start to heat up. Yes this is a love story, but it's also a laughing-your-ass-off-rolling-on-the-floor funny, hilarious book!! WHY? Because of that cat, CLIVE, Mr. Scene-Stealer!!I recommend this book to everyone....seriously if you haven't read it yet....READ IT, and if you've read it....READ IT AGAIN!!!*clapping hands*******************************************CLIVE....the scene stealer“The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?” Simon and Caroline“Simon does commando. God bless America.”Beneath the sheet - which was already lower on his hips than should be legal - HeWasStillHard“Now you listen here, mister,” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash you girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone!”“How do you make Wallbanger stop smirking? You kiss him.”“My shirt bunched up around my waist, and the feeling of his hi-there against my hoohah was indescribable.”Yep still laughing.....“You really have no idea, do you?” …“No idea about what?” …“How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.”“You know those moments when everything is exactly the way it was meant to be? When you find yourself and your entire universe aligning in perfect synchronization, and you know you couldn’t possibly be more content? I was inside that very moment, and fully conscious of it.”

  • ♡Karlyn P♡
    2018-11-14 02:44

    So disappointed! This book went from "O.M.G!" to a big fat "D.N.F." at 75% I really (and I mean REALLY!) enjoyed the opening of this book, and was looking forward to a great read. But in the end, I gave it too much of my time and finally just had to call it quits.Oh, it started off so funny and original. The 'Wallbanger' and 'Cock blocker' jokes were cute. Simon was such a mystery, and Caroline was a person I would love to hang with if she was a real person. Her conversations with her cat had me laughing! And when Simon and her finally met, the banter was so well done. The story stayed on pace for a while, but around the halfway mark it got a little juvenile for my tastes. In the quest for friendship with Simon, Caroline got a bit whiney and started playing head games. The banter got a bit over the top. The cliches got a bit thick. And I was like "WTF Caroline?!And then the story got really farcical, but I persisted. Caroline started to really rub me wrong. What is happening to her? She is turning into a desperate, stupid big fat cliche from every bad Chick Lit book I've read.Then she really, really started to make me not like her. The romance between her and Simon was turning into rainbow farting unicorns, and the delusions dancing in her head were no longer entertaining. I no longer wanted to hang with her, assuming she was a real person. And the story about her friends got weirder and weirder.By the time I quit, Simon was the only thing about this book I still really liked. And that is how I plan to remember him, because I am so afraid if I finish this book I will end up not liking him either.So: DNF at 75%

  • Samantha Young
    2018-12-10 03:31

    freaking hilarious and hot read!

  • Jodi Malpas
    2018-11-16 06:44

    Just what I needed!During a pretty mad point in my year end, Alice Clayton put the smile on my face I so needed. I loved Caroline, although she was a little crackers, but I've got to cut the girl some slack because if I'd have been lacking in the area in which she was oh so lacking, then I guess I would be a bit of a loose canon too. Enter Simon. The flirting, sexual tension and innuendos that were batting between these two almost me had me wishing I could magic myself into the scene to rip their clothes off for them. The ending more than made up for my own frustrations. God I love Clive...I want a Clive in my life.In all honesty, I wouldn't mind going through what Caroline went through if I was going to get a Simon as my reward. Yes please and Thank you...VERY MUCH!

  • ✝✝ Ⓓaisy ❣ ✝✝
    2018-11-24 22:45

    This book is effin' hilarious...... I was laughing non-stop for sure....And Harriet, my mate only made it double exciting When I picked up the first page, I wasAnd we move, 50% dear me, By 85% I was equally frustrated with her, chasing her Big O, and Simon is ain't helping at all! Damn, UST is way too much! Finally, I was screaming with at happiness at 92% and in love!What I can say more, I really really had fun with Simon, Caroline, Clive (such a character)!!!!! Let's meet them <3Simon, Mr Wallbanger *winks*Caroline, Ms O *giggles*And finally, the hero, Mr cheeky CliveJUST PICK IT UP AND READ IT!"Fucking Wallbanger""Fucking Pink Nightie Girl""Asshole""cockblocker""What I do on my side of that wall is my business. Let's get that straight right now. And why are you so concerned about me and my dick anyway?"Hence, it only gets better!!! Need a laugh and sweet read, you have your book!

  • Samantha Young
    2018-11-29 03:47

    Hilarious and sexy! One of my favourites.

  • XxTainaxX
    2018-11-21 22:44

    I realize that I'm probably in the minority here but while I found the story funny at times, I just didn't find it fulfilling. Caroline has a very unique way of thinking and comes across bit quirky which I like :) I really respected how Simon approached the development of this new relationship which made him all the more likeable as he could have blown our expectations out of the planet with how entangled his web was. Caroline and Simon felt a product of circumstance and matchmaking more than anything else. There was attraction, yes, but I felt it lacked depth. Their relationship doesn't even begin until near the end of the book. Even then their first instance of intimacy left something to be desired. It really starts to get good at the very end when they work out what made their first time lacking and we are left with a big fat HFN. No epilogue to give us a glimpse of their future... nada. The cat's POV was a cute touch but answered no questions. It was a cute read but I was looking for more. As far as safety is concerned: no rape/abuse, neither are virgins, there is a crinkle of a wrapper their first time but it's not mentioned again, there are no OM and no OW after they start the relationship and maybe even a little before they do. He does, however, start the book off with multiple women.

  • AJ
    2018-11-12 05:47

    Essential elements of a sensational romantic comedy novel:Strong, sarcastically hilarious heroine – CheckGorgeously sexy, hot hero – OMG, check, check and CHECK!!!!Sizzling chemistry – Check Hilariously rude flirting – Check Wickedly sensational banter – HELL YEAH Check Swoony romance – CheckSteam factor – Holy hell, CHECK!Love, love, love this book! It was hilarious, gorgeously swoony, and so much fun!“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozen on the spot. His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl”Caroline and Simon have sizzling chemistry from the start, even though they initially ‘hate’ each other after a late night encounter where Caroline “cockblocks” Simon, telling him to calm his sexual theatrics and its resulting wallbanging.“Now you listen here, mister … I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone!”Their relationship takes a twist as their friends hook up and they realise that, as neighbors, they can’t exactly stay away from each other. So they call a truce and gradually become friends. I loved their friendship! They have so much fun together, but the rude, crude and flirty banter flies thick and fast, with lots of innuendo and teasing, steamy moments between them (apple pie anybody???). And then there are the conversations via text message – absolute GOLD! The sexual tension builds and builds until our frustrated couple finally get together and oh holy crap is there hotness! Lots and lots of it!!! It’s hot, and it’s graphic, but there’s still humour and lightness there. “Simon does commando. God bless America.”(is it suddenly getting hot in here?)Caroline and Simon are both fantastic characters, I loved them both instantly. Caroline is everything you want in a rom-com heroine – she’s strong, smart, sarcastic and sassy, and Simon is just absolute freaking perfection! (Seriously! Where can I get one?). Hot, sexy and funny, he also has an affectionate, caring side and is clearly talented in the bedroom area. Oh, and he gives good woo :) The last part of the book had me in a permanent state of swoon!“You really have no idea, do you?” …“No idea about what?” …“How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.” The rest of the cast of characters are just as hilarious, and as with other Alice Clayton characters, are exactly the kind of people you would love to have in your life. Including Clive the cat – this cat rocked so much attitude, he deserves his own shout out. I loved it whenever he made an appearance! I was totally obsessed with Caroline and Simon’s story from the very beginning, and loved every single moment of the journey. This book had me holding my sides from laughter and grinning like an idiot the whole time I was reading. Clayton definitely rocks the written romantic comedy. Absolutely brilliant!5 sensational stars!

  • ♥ Jx PinkLady Reviews ♥
    2018-11-29 06:49

    5 Wallbanging Stars ♥This is one of those stories that has made me fall completely and madly in book love, I can't believe I nearly never read it???? What was I thinking?!! Sexual frustrationWantingNeedingAllowing yourself more*All experienced in this book*Wallbanger has a cast of wonderful characters led by our hero and heroine, Simon and Caroline, and featuring Clive, a cat.... lol, he's a comedy star! The premise of the story is Caroline has a new neighbour, Simon.... he likes his ladies and banging walls!! lol,lol,lol,lol.... Caroline is on the other side of the said wall and gets her knickers in a right old knot, hearing, not only the wall, but the ladies as well??? "Every spank, every meow, every giggle, and I have had it!" Needless to say, she's exasperated with the situation and faces it head on.... Or should I say hard on??? lolWallbanger is a pretty amusing book, I found myself constantly smiling and sometimes laughing out loud, it's hilarious in places. I found myself chuckling with the characters, rather than at them.... The best kind of funny. I wanted to be in their gang...Simon (Mr Wallbanger) is a freelance photographer who travels the world, he's, "...a tad bit glorious," and loves female company. Hence the Wallbanging!!Caroline is an interior designer, she's been unlucky in love and the bedroom... She's searching for her elusive (view spoiler)[ 'o' Her orgasms have gone missing. True story!! lol(hide spoiler)]"You gonna bang my walls, Simon?"I laughed."You have no idea," he promised....There's an extra cast of girls, boys, and work colleagues, and they all gel perfectly into the story. I love how the girls are so in tune with each other; I felt like they bought me into their girl circle. They had so much fun together.It's not all about laughs, this story has a depth to it that I wasn't expecting.... The amusing turned into heart warming..... It gave me that contented book feeling, big time... Contented lovelinessIt's all because the author takes her time. She builds and builds the characters, their relationships, it never felt rushed. She develops friendships, shows us the wonderful camaraderie between the girls, the boys. The blossoming friendship between Caroline and Simon... It's truly beautiful. Tears welled up in me when I didn't expect it."Simon was quickly turning into one of my favorite people."He really was ♥I adore this kind of story, the kind where a writer slowly paints a picture of a world. The world slowly drew me in bit by bit. Alice Clayton put in the ground work, laid the foundations and made my book heart swell for all kinds of reasons. I found, when Simon was off doing his own thing, I couldn't wait for him to be back on the page with our heroine. I was enamored with him completely. It was romantic. *I cried with them, laughed with them and swooned with Caroline.*Is love written in the stars for them???I couldn't possibly say.... If you haven't read this wonderfully funny and romantic book already, you need to go get it and have some fun with swoony Simon Wallbanger. ♥ Just Lovely. x["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Fathima
    2018-11-23 04:45

    This book cured me of my HUGE reading funk !!!!!4 stars for the story and the humor + 1 extra star for the last two chapters ! Damn I loved that bit ..... a lot !Goodreads just 'over capacity'ed me , so I'm gonna try posting my review another day !In the mean time , READ this book ! Its fuckin hilarious and awesome ! Edit : 30/11/2012 Now, Backbone and Brain were solidly in the wait-for-sex camp, believing this essential to the foundation of this burgeoning relationship. LC ( Lower Caroline ), and therefore Simon’s penis, were in the have-sex-with-him-as-soon-as-possible society, obviously. O, while not officially in residence, could be counted among LC’s supporters. But I felt a twinge, and just a twinge, of her floating above both camps, along with Heart, who was currently singing songs about everlasting love and warm, fluffy things.So when I finished reading this book , like literally when I finished reading the last page , this song - Finally found you - Enrique Igleasis ft Sammy Adams started playing on my Ipod and I was like ' Purrfect ' ... Damn Enrique is sooooooo HOT in this video ! O , O , O , O , where have you gone ??? Now that seems to be the question Caroline is asking herself . Yup , you read that right . Caroline has lost her O , thanks to machine gun fucker ... Pfffft .... the image that just popped up in my head ... Pffft... * Clears throat* moving on , so yeah sex with the machine gun fucker has scared Caroline's O and she has stop making her appearances at the desired climax ( pun intended ) .Yeah , bad ....Enter's Simon Wallbanger er ... I mean Simon Parker . Extremely hot , sex personified hunky neighbor next door with an specialized degree in the art of Wallbanging . Contrary to what many believe , its actually his bed that makes the thumping noise and not the fact that he is thrusting his way to homecoming glory against a wall with a .... er ... I may have deviated from the actual matter which was ... which was ... ummmm ...yeah that Simon is hot and the attraction between him and Caroline is almost instant . And according to sources , he may just be the one to bring back Caroline's O !!!!!But there's a problem , Simon is not into relationships , and Caroline ... Well lets just say that she wants a happy ending . So will love finally happen or will this just be a lets-just-have-sex-and-then-move-on thing ??? Will Caroline finally find her missing O or is she doomed to a O-less future for the rest of her life ??? Well , read the story and find out for yourself !!!!This was my first Alice Clayton read , and I gotta admit that I'm in love with her sense of humor and writing style ! I've pretty much highlighted the entire book in my kindle app . Witty banters , over the top internal monologues and way-not-normal characters make Wallbanger a snort out loud comical experience ! Caroline , god that lady is just soo not okay . From a lost O to her baked goodies to her cat to her thoughts about Simon , sex and his 'harem' had me breaking into fits of laughter . I adored her as a character . Simon .... He was just ...I mean .... I mean .... Argh ,I WANT HIM , LIKE RIGHT NOW !!!!Simple ! He is soooooo hot !“Do you have any idea how much fun we’re going to have?” he asked, slipping his hands inside my apron, warm and a little rough on my tummy. “What are you up to?” “An O has been lost, and I’m a sucker for a challenge.”The sex here is beyond amazing ! I love messy sex ..er scenes , messy sex scenes and this book delivers it all ! Dough , honey , marmalade , sugar , flour ... soap ! LOVED IT !This book is definitely hilarious with a lot of snort-giggle-smirk-grin- moments ! Simon and Caroline's double meaning text messages , the conversations between Caroline , Mimi , Sophia , Ryan , Neil and Simon ... Not to forget Caroline's pussy er , I mean Cat - Clive were amazing !Wallbanger is a perfect mixture of romance , comedy and a whole lot of baked goodies !!!!

  • Wendy'sThoughts
    2018-11-22 03:44

    4 Simon Baker-The Mentalist, Flirty, Banter, Baked Goods Stars****Spoiler FreeDear Ms. Clayton,I am writing to you as I know you have a close personal relationship with Simon, Caroline and their posse. I wanted to first congratulate you on excellent taste. You telling us about these people in the way that you did, just brightened up my day. It was such a change to see grown up, evolved professionals behave as friends, looking out for one another and interacting in a respectful manner. That they weren’t perfect little angels or bad ass bikers but real relatable souls struck a chord in me.Which brings me to the reason why I am writing to you:I have some things I wish to tell Simon personally and I think you are the only way to do that …. So here it goes….Simon…You don’t know me… but as crazy as it is… I know you.I know all about your photographic career, which by the way, is wonderfully creative and reveals more about you than you may realize. It shows how you recognize all the beauty this world has to offer and your acceptance and willingness to share it with us.I know you have strong bonds with Benjamin, who took you under his wing when life dealt you the worst of blows, and a core group of friends. Your taking time to nurture these relationships shows that even with the fear of losing people you have loved… you are willing to give of yourself in some capacity which means when you find the one… it will happen.And oh, I am so thrilled it seems to be happening for you, Simon. Because, although I understood exactly the rotation of “friends” you had and why you had this set up, protecting yourself and all… I did see an inkling of you moving towards wanting more….So here you now are with this interaction with Caroline… and I am really excited to see how this goes…You seem to love pushing her buttons, texting with her and teasing… I think this tactic will work… and you may feel a little uneasy with feelings which will begin to surface… but don’t let that scare you away…And her baking for you all the time… just so you know… a really great indication of her liking you even though she may not say it out right….So you just keep being the flirty, charming and oh, so sexy guy you are...Ok, Stop… Right There… Yes, You Simon… don’t you look all shy because I said that… you know you are amazing with the women….knowing exactly what you are doing when you do it… so don’t get all bashful or embarrassed… Good… we are now on the same page…so what I just want to finish saying is stay the course… continue to woo Ms. Caroline… don’t let her get away with any lying or hiding… because between you and me… she seems to be having a particular situation happening which is making her especially cranky with herself and others…and she is worth the effort.Finally, all I want is for you to be happy in your life… be open to what may take place in the future if you let it… and from my point of view… I think you need to keep on following your instincts with Caroline….after all… what have you got to lose… the two of you seem to be friends and all that zucchini bread you love at your disposal… seems like win-win and possibly love… to me.Yours Truly... a huge Simon FanSo, thank you Ms. Clayton… and I will continue to watch for any other reveals you may share with us in the future because I love the people you hang out with…. Oh, you thought I forgot Clive? I didn’t forget… but you see my love for Clive… that falls into another category all together. Wallbanger (Cocktail, #1)https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Rusty Nailed (Cocktail, #2) Screwedrivered (Cocktail, #3)https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Mai Tai'd Up (Cocktail, #4)https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways

  • Shurrn
    2018-12-11 04:47

    Wallbanger is the literary equivalent of a long night giggling with your best friend over cocktails & pints of ice-cream… It just makes you feel good…Nights like that might not be life altering… but they'll stick with you all the same. A fond memory you can draw on when you're having a rough day. This book will affect you in a similar way. We all know the premise... Caroline moves into a new condo and is repeatedly woken up by her neighbor's headboard banging into the wall...After confronting the sex machine on the other side of the bedroom wall, a love / hate friendship begins to emerge between Caroline & her Wallbanger...I say BANG! As in, Wallbanger... As in, this is Bang-on Hillarious... As in:We're talking lost orgasms...Hot neighbors...Sexual tension that's off the charts...Laugh-Out-Loud until your husband looks at you like you've lost your mind...Characters that are so quirky, you feel like you might actually run into them if you're ever in San Francisco...Simon Parker (aka Wallbanger Wondercock)Caroline Reynolds (aka Pink Nightie Girl)Clive (aka Kitty Hugh Hefner)Even her girlfriends are hilarious! How did I look while reading this book?Non-stop enjoyment and laughter.It was a heartwarming romance, and just what I needed to read!Let me get warm & fuzzy for a second...You know why I love GoodReads.com? Book Buddies.You know what else I love? Recommendations.I'm not talking about the general algorithm basted "If you liked ____, try ____..." and I'm definitely not talking about the hundreds of unsolicited recommendations I get on the "recommendations" page (I ignore the crap out of those, BTW)... I'm talking about making a friend based on your collective book choices, and chatting with them until they really get to know your personality and preferences. "Well if you liked the Characters from Book A, and enjoyed the Author from Book B, but you hated the plot twist in Book C... Maybe you should read Book D..."That's how I got to read Wallbanger. Sure, I saw it was a finalist in the Readers Choice Awards, and I've seen the odd update here and there... But it wasn't until I received a recommendation from Wendy (Wm AddictedReader&LovingTeamO) that I actually resolved to open the copy that has been gathering virtual dust on my eBook shelf for weeks. And Sweet Baby Jesus, am I glad that i did! For the record, that's not the first time she's given me an awesome recommendation... She's my Bookish Fairy Godmother.So what is the moral of this story?1. Read Wallbanger2. Cultivate relationships with your Book Friends3. Indulge in something funAND GUESS WHAT!Wallbanger is a series... So we can expect three more books in 2014!I'll just sit here and wait for that, because now I'm officially an Alice Clayton fan!Some of My Favorite Moments(view spoiler)[The beginnings of carpal tunnel were threatening to set in as I tried desperately to get myself off. But O was on seemingly permanent hiatus. And I don’t mean Oprah....the international house of orgasms from the other side of the wall...She was steadfast in her belief that everyone had a soulmate.Eh…I’d just settle for my Soul-O.I wanted to level him with my eyes, make him beg for mercy. But no…Not Simon, Director of the International House Of Orgasms.HeWasStillSmirking.“I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.”...a low voice that could melt, well, anything.My brain was most certainly among those things, seeing as I suddenly felt it oozing out of my ears and on down to my collar.In the span of five seconds, a thousand things happened: I saw Simon and Purina in the hallway, bags from Whole Foods in hands, key in front door. I saw Mimi at the door, barefoot and leaning (again with the leaning) in the doorway. I saw Clive rear back on his hind legs preparing to jump in a way that I’d only ever seen him do once when I hid the catnip on the top of the fridge. Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and someone faked an orgasm. All in those five seconds.God, he gave great meatball.But as close as friends and lovers could be, there was something about belonging to someone completely that gave you roots—roots you sometimes needed when the world battled against you.“You’re still intrigued though, aren't you?” He grinned, turning the blue eyes loose on me.My panties actually disintegrated.I think O even popped her head up for a moment, like a groundhog. She took a quick glance around and pronounced it much closer to spring than she’d been in months.Be aware of the walls you buildand what could be on the other sideConfucius, you kill me.Holding the shoe like some kind of late-night Prince Charming to my slutty O-less Cinderella, Simon appeared in my doorway, barefoot and in his pajama bottoms.Here’s the thing about a spit take. In the movies, they’re hysterical. In real life, they’re just messy.He was like the best Kegel exercise ever—instant clench.“Harem free, huh?” I breathed back, visions of Sugar Simons dancing in my head. Single Sugar Simons, Single Sugar Simons in Spain…He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa.What was crassly called “under the shirt action” became part of a romance, and something that could have been merely physical became something emotional and pure.Simon goes commando. God bless America.“Always take a compliment, Caroline. Always take it for the way it was intended. You girls are always so quick to twist what others say. Simply say thank you and move on.” She smiled in that quiet and wise way she had...“It breaks my heart the way young girls pick themselves over, never thinking they’re good enough. You make sure you always remember, you’re exactly the way you’re supposed to be. Exactly. And anyone who says otherwise, well, poppycock.”“If you don’t stop, I’m going to stop fucking you, and believe me when I say I haven’t even begun to ravage you in all the ways I've dreamed about.” (hide spoiler)]Update May 9, 2014:I had the opportunity to say hello to the lovely and hilarious Alice Clayton in Memphis while she was traveling with the Belles on Wheels Book Tour. I had an awkward photo op and got her to sign a copy of this fabulous book for me!["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Aileene
    2018-12-08 22:40

    And the Wallbanger book is born.The Abtastic Ab Loving GeishasAnd the date was set & the Wallbanger enthusiasts started reading.2-3 days after.F* no. This is not a 5 star read.Oh boy. *mouths* Someone's not happy.Ok. To explain. It started out good. Really good, actually.It was hilarious and the story held my interest....at first.Heck, who wouldn't be addicted to you when you can squeeze orgasm out of a woman's vagina like I do with my juicing oranges every morning?But while this was a cute read and you seem to rock every woman who dips in your bed, I couldn't help to be a bit disappointed. I read reviews and many have given high recommendations and 5 star ratings. Although that didn't give me high expectations, it however, made me voted to read your book.Reasons why I wasn't THAT impressed: 1. What's with the winking? I didn't skim pages nor any paragraphs so I was sure there was no mentioned of characters suffering from severe conjunctivitis here. And the poking of tongues out too. TSK! So immature.2. Pls, get your woman to stop twirling. Only Aileene twirls.3. We're getting to the main part here. The plot ►►►►was a no-brainer. The characters ►►►►were shallow. The dialogues...whilst I find it pretty funny and entertaining, it was too much too. But what really turned my nose up was: Everyone found an Adam to their Eve {'cept for Clive. Purina could've stayed with him since we were following a theme here of "pair up everyone".} Does everyone need a pair? And this: the WHOLE BOOK all I read was Caroline's hibernating O, sex, sexual frustrations, flirtations, giggling. I would've loved all these, you see, if they were injected in small doses but the entire book SCREAMING ALL those to me? *shakes head*. No. Sorry. Very well then.No. Not even 4 stars.I still have more in my list. *annoyed* You just jumped in and screamed Simon says, all of a sudden..So to continue.The banging between the Romeo and the heroine only happened at the end of the book. That! Was! A! Long! Wait!And then after that wait, something still went wrong. (view spoiler)[ Lower Caroline's O played hard to get. Was a no-show on their first intimacy (hide spoiler)] so it dragged even longer.And the sexy times. What sexy times? After that long wait and the no-show, I couldn't appreciate anything anymore.Also, I can't help but poke at Caroline's inner monologue here. This reminds me of Elaine from Seinfield with Jerry saying that Elaine casual talks during sex. With Elaine, it was hilarious. With Caroline on the other hand.... Now the things I did appreciate:1. You painted a good image in my head with those powerful hip thrusts you did. I don't care how much I spent on my bed but I want those earth shattering thrusts in my bed too.2. The 2 main characters are enjoyable to read. They have good chemistry. Individually, they were hilarious. Together, still hilarious but I was afforded different emotions too when they were starting to get involved and that was a delight to read. It certainly gave additional punch to the story and totally worth to read about.3. The book was easy to read.There was a slight error at the end though.“Did you know Mimi and Neil are thinking about moving in together? Isn’t that a little soon? I hope they know what they’re getting into,” I reported, arching up to meet his kisses.”Mimi was with Ryan,NOT WITH NEIL.They swapped partners.Sorry, Simon, I'm rating this 2.5 starsI promise I would read the sequels though.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::SO READY TO GET BANGED ON THE WALL. Buddy read with my Geisha girls starting 1st of June.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • Jilly
    2018-12-01 01:52

    I had a good time reading this with my friends at the abtastic ab-loving geishas, but I did find it a little juvenile and shallow. Funny - but juvenile and shallow.The best part of the book was Clive the Cat. Clyde falls in love with a girl who meows, attacks his owner's new boyfriend's head, and even flips off Caroline."Shut it, Clive," I hissed. A paw came out through the crack and I swear he flipped me off...I can honestly say that this is the first cat I've ever liked. I've always known that cats are evil, but an evil cat like Clive? I can respect his bad-boy vibe.oh, now that's going too far! I take back ever liking a cat!

  • Smitten's Book Blog
    2018-11-29 05:33

    Laugh-out-loud, snort-tea-through-your-nose, stupid-grin-on-your-face funny!I found that this took a little while to get going. At about the 25% mark, it was dragging and I was thinking to myself 'Ok, so? Come on, get to the point.' And then it did!And it was hilariously funny, brilliantly witty, yet adorably romantic and incredibly sexy! Yep, all of those things rolled into one book.Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink nightie.I loved every single character in this book. Alice Clayton has such a way with writing characters you can't help but adore. I want to be friends with Caroline, Sophia and Mimi! I want to meet a group of men like Simon, Ryan and Neil! And I want a boss like Jillian!The one liners were priceless. Caroline's thought processes were so so funny. You will get strange looks if you read this in public because you will giggle-snort-splutter all the way through.The text chats were brilliantly thought out and so clever. The author gave us so much information by sharing the text messages between all of the different characters, without having to write out long winded scenes. And it really gave an insight into the relationships between the characters. I especially loved the texts between Caroline and Simon... *swoon*!You done with work?Yep, at home waiting for you.Now that's a nice visual...Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.Don't tease me woman...zucchini?Cranberry orange. Mmmm...No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.Ha! When you coming?Can't. Drive. Straight.Can we have one conversation when you're not twelve?Sorry, I'll be there in 30Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns.Pardon me?Oh, didn't I tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls.Be there in 25.Speaking of Simon... *swoon a little more* Hot hot hot. That first image of him wrapped in a bed sheet, covered in sex-sweat, pretty much sets you up for the rest of the book. This is man is sex personified!Beneath the sheet - which was already lower on his hips than should be legal - HeWasStillHardBut beyond that, his feelings for Caroline are so cute! I loved the 'getting-to-know-you' stage... the scary movie, the baking apple pie, the attack of the water pipes, the cute nicknames, the nooking... it all developed so naturally and believably. Brilliant brilliant writing from Alice Clayton.“You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed.“You have no idea,” he promised.In the words of Simon, if you're after a chuckle and a truly spiffy read, Wallbanger is your book and Simon “Wallbanger” Parker is your man!Just trying to get a visual of you on the beach in Spain…How's that working out for you?Pretty spiffy.Spiffy? Did you just say spiffy?I typed it actually. You got something against spiffy?To read more reviews go to my Book Blog: http://smittensbookblog.wordpress.com/Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SmittenSCFind me on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/smittensc/Join us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/427743...

  • Rosalinda *KRASNORADA*
    2018-11-20 01:29

    3.5 stars Ok, let's keep this short and sweet...This book was OKAY but just okay, nothing exciting. I was expecting much more but well, I guess I am in a book funk at the moment.Simon and Caroline live in the same building. They meet each other because Simon is a Wall Banger. Yes, he [email protected] different chicks every night and Caroline and her sweet and EVIL cat Clive can't sleep. So well, you're probably getting the picture... One night she knocks on his door and TA CHAN they see each other and they feel this special connection and blah blah blah. MEH! Why do authors do that??? *SHAKES HEAD*.The thing is Simon is not the bad boy you might think he is and Caroline is an okay heroine (don't have complains about her to be honest).I don't want to spoil the story for you so let's just say they keep seeing each other, they become friends, their feelings become more intense and... after all the build up (I loved it) I suddenly lost the interest. Don't know how to explain my feelings but I was expecting something else.I know most of you loved her O talking but OMG, I hated it! I found it sooooo boring but that's just my opinion.I must say I loved their (view spoiler)[ trip to Spain(hide spoiler)]. The author did a good researching job as I felt like they were really in (view spoiler)[ Nerja(hide spoiler)]. I am pretty sure she probably has been here because some of the descriptions were perfect. Well done!Clive, Caroline's cat, was my favourite character. He was funny but that thing with purina??? Va a ser que no...Overall, an ok read. If you want to laugh for a while and read a sweet story then go for it, most of my buddies loved it!["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

  • edzkie♥§*.*§♥
    2018-11-22 01:48

    “Kittens, lay back. You are about to get Wallbanged,”~Oh!My!God!H-O-T-N-E-S-S!MY SIMON WALLBANGER!!!!♥♥♥[image error]Uploaded with ImageShack.us♥♥♥ Simon Wallbanger. The book started with a lot of "thump-thump-spank me-thum-thump-meow,meow-thump-thump-giggles" the spanking, the meowing, the giggles belong to three different "harems" and the thumping was all done by the Giant Bed of Sin. Caroline, his neighbor, with a missing "O"got pissed with the nightly banging, bang his doors wearing her pink nightie...and starts the whole banging story of matchmaking with the fantastic four,Clive (the most protective cat ever) who have a lust @ first sight with the meow harem, spooky horror movie date, the end of harems, the nooking,the trip to spain, falling in love & finding nemo....hahaha...nailing the long missing O under the cliff..rofl fun-tastic!!!Uploaded with ImageShack.usThe search for the missing O & the doing things backward got me bored a little. And the anticipation was killing me. But its all worth the wait. The stamina was unbelievable when they finally chase the O. Both are funny in and out of bed, on couch, kitchen counter, floor, shower...I'm fanning myself for all the hotness!☺“You really have no idea, do you?”“No idea about what?”“How thoroughly you own me, Nightie Girl,” he said, leaning in to whisper this part in my ear. “And I know I love you enough to want you to have your happy ending.” OMG!SQUEEE!!!Uploaded with ImageShack.us“You gonna bang my walls, Simon?” I laughed.“You have no idea,” he promised.~SWOOOON♥Uploaded with ImageShack.usThis book was fun & mouth watering sexy!☺Uploaded with ImageShack.usA lot of sugar & sweet chairbanging READ!!!♥♥♥Uploaded with ImageShack.us

  • Akanksha❤ Søren♰
    2018-12-04 05:42

    !!!Hump Alert!!!Simon was just *swoon* Hot, loving, hot, sexy, smoking hot, sweet, caring and totally adorable! Boy, did he BANG with wall out of wallbanging! LOLCaroline, Independent, refreshing, lovely, sweet, pretty and hot! ;) Liked her character, not the normal Bella types who whines, who's clingy, pissing off etc!The book wasn't HA HA funny but it was very humorous, had amazing punch lines and nasty double meaning rounds going ;)The characters were nice and something fresh.. enjoyed them ;D Towards the end it did get a little bit dragged, and the 'O' part was totally pulled and stretched!It was easy to fall in love with Simon, He was just that type of a guy! I blushed, giggled, grinned throughout the book!The sexual tension was thick and hot!I liked the story of both the sets of best friends, the twist with them too! Nice one there Author! ;) Overall, I really enjoyed the book :D4.5 Stars!The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?....Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of this wall tonight.“Now, you listen here, mister,” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.”The irony that Simon was literally trying to run away from pussy was not lost on me.

  • Norah Una Sumner
    2018-12-03 23:38

    “Oh, God .”Thump.“Oh, God.”Thump thump.What the...“Oh, God, that’s so good!”SO.DAMN.FUNNY.I loved the characters,the story,the humor,the chemistry between Simon and Caroline,Caroline's best friends, CLIVE... Such a wonderful and quirky story that got me laughing out loud so many times.I would swear, on a stack of Bibles in a court of actual law, that I heard my cat speak.“Porrrrreeeennnnnya,” Clive said, and I whirled about. In the span of five seconds, a thousand things happened: I saw Simon and Purina in the hallway, bags from Whole Foods in hands, key in front door. I saw Mimi at the door, barefoot and leaning (again with the leaning) in the doorway. I saw Clive rear back on his hind legs preparing to jump in a way that I’d only ever seen him do once when I hid the catnip on the top of the fridge. Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and someone faked an orgasm. All in those five seconds.If you want to know more about the case of the "Missing O" you'll have to read this hilarious novel. You won't regret it,I promise! Just look at that cover...

  • Muse-ic ♬
    2018-11-27 06:29

    I dunno. It was cute up until they went to Spain. After that, I just kind of lost interest......To be fair though, it was overall better than I was expecting.HOWEVER!I need to mention this because I'M FUCKING SICK OF EVERY MALE LEAD IN EROTICAS HAVING 200 PACK ABS!THIS GUY IS LITERALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER FOR A LIVING AND THERE IS ZERO MENTION OF HIM GOING TO THE GYM ON A REGULAR BASIS. DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ABS? IF YOU'RE NOT CONSTANTLY WORKING OUT, EATING THE MOST SPECIFIC DIET (and trust me Simon does NOT have this diet), AND HAVE LIKE 0% BODY FAT, IT'S JUST UNREALISTIC TO GET THOSE ABS IN THE FIRST PLACE, MUCH LESS MAINTAIN THEM!!ALSO SEX IS NOT ENOUGH OF A WORKOUT TO JUSTIFY HAVING OR KEEPING THOSE ABS!!Dear authors everywhere,NOT EVERY DUDE EVERYWHERE EVER MUST HAVE ABS TO BE A SMOKING SEXY SPECIMEN!OKAY??Sincerely,Frustrated that not every guy I've ever met has abs

  • Duchess Nicole
    2018-11-23 06:52

    3.5 Stars- Fun story- A little sexy, but you've.....gotta.....wait....for it!- A bit unbelievable- Annoying cat, but also hilarious!!- Really likeable, normal people...this was my favorite part.While I enjoyed the story and got a few good chuckles out of it, once again I wasn't as enamored as everyone else seemed to be. I feel like the old grumpy Grandma sitting in her recliner hollering at everyone to quiet down. The story was fun and light with a nice sweet contemporary romance to read when you don't want anything heavy weighing you down. But I just couldn't bring myself to get past my sexual hangups with this one, and felt as if the characters didn't exactly act the way they should.Caroline and Simon share the same bedroom wall, and the thickness of that wall quickly becomes apparent when Simon's "wallbanging" of his harem of women wakes Caroline up night after night. This was one of the two sexual hangups I had with the story. Simon has not one, not two...but THREE women that he's trading off. EEEwww!! I don't care how single you are, it would be mighty hard to find that many women that are perfectly okay with being one of many. And if you're that hot shit, I guess you should go for it, but to be the woman that follows is pretty skeevy. I will say, at least Simon was honest about it and never tried to hide his proclivities. And he wasn't a bad guy at all...quite the opposite, actually. He had a romantic soul. It was just hidden behind his lifestyle. Simon and Caroline end up bumping in to each other while out with their respective group of best friends. Sparks start flying around everywhere at that point! I loved the friend dynamics, and loved how everyone came together to form a big ole group of buddies, each person feeding off of the others and each learning something of themselves in the process. I think my favorite part was watching the group pair off and come together again, then pair off and each find their own happy place.The biggest thing that made me sort of meh was the inner dialogue and sometimes actual dialogue during the sex scenes. It was funny to talk to your missing O while you were in a sexual dry spell. But to talk to your missing O while actually having sex? Completely ruined the sex scenes for me. I was sooooo disappointed! Little bits of humor or the occasional sexy laugh while doing the deed is okay, but I hate it when my reading sex is interrupted with silly imagery or giggles. My forehead was literally scrunching in frustration, especially (view spoiler)[because they waited so FREAKING LONG to do the deed! Seriously, while in SPAIN, completely free of responsibility, they wait for nearly a week to get in bed together? And they spend the entire time being romantic, participating in massive amounts of foreplay, touching on all bases but home...but DON'T HAVE SEX? (hide spoiler)]For me, that was the biggest letdown, just completely unbelievable. I wanted to cry in frustration!Overall, I really did enjoy the story. I was so anxious for Caroline and Simon to get together...their domestic situation was conducive to so much interaction! The ending, Bwahahaha! I laughed so hard at that last part...it earned an extra half star just for that alone. I love, love, love animals and while Clive the cat was an obnoxious bit of coitus interruptus, he sure was some great comic relief. The author must have a cat, because she nailed his attitude perfectly. Loved it!!

  • Deniz
    2018-11-13 22:28

    i am still bouncing between 2 and 3 stars. why aren't there half stars?!! its2.5 Stars The thing that made me bump this up to 3 stars was definitely the banter, it was super funny and sexy.... after thinking about it a bit.. i did bump it down after all. to much babbling and cliche. Actually other than the banter i didnt enjoy the book that much.Honestly I ended up liking this more than I initially thought.About 20% in I wouldn't even have given it 2stars.... it was just so cliche, and I found Caroline rather whiney and that kinda annoyed me. It was really fun to read how their truce slowly became a friendship.The banter between Caroline and Simon was really sexy and funny! Their chemistry sizzling.Sadly I got bored hearing how the wooing and Simon were oh so great and all the worries about the missing O. The whole o thing in fact, really was annoying.. just get over it! freakn hell! All in all there were many cute and funny parts to this but it was also loaded with cliches and very predictable. Honestly without the banter, this would have not even been two stars.oh and who does call theirs vagina whoha to themselves? do people actually do that?! Nevertheless I do love group reads!! What we reading next?!